I overdid it (3 things in the diary in one day!) = more fatigue = more susceptible to illness = even more susceptible to fatigue. It’s like a very vicious circle and I truly felt tired of constantly feeling tired.
A duvet day sounds a good option except when it’s not optional!!
I was in the ‘sorry for myself’ camp!! I know the theory of how “David encouraged himself in the Lord his God“, when he was greatly distressed (1 Samuel 30:6 KJV) but I was failing to put it into practice so I also felt a bit of a failure for not handling situation better.
As I thought about the right choices to make … joy, gratitude, when to push forward and when to rest, I sensed the Holy Spirit whisper
“Sometimes you have to make your own footholds in the rock face”
He reminded me of the recent story of freeclimbers, Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson, becoming the first climbers to scale the 3,000ft sheer rock face of El Capitan Dawn Wall in Yosemite National Park using only their hands and feet to grip the cliff. It is the first time the mountain has been scaled entirely without bolts or climbing tools.
I’ve visited Yosemite and I would rather look up than climb up El Capitan any day!! In pre-fatigue days I tackled some of our much smaller local mountains but I would never dream of facing a sheer rock face.
I’ve felt trapped on the mountainside this week and my heart aches from seeing others face the mountains of their own difficulties – physical, financial, relational.
We’ve all been there. We know what it’s like to face mountains in our own lives. We know that feeling of barely hanging on by your fingertips.
But I felt the Father’s whisper that He knows too and He knows that sometimes those mountains are not just an invigorating hike but more like sheer rock face.
I sensed the Father was using the Yosemite ‘no climbing tools’ story to highlight that He has given us all the climbing tools we need.
So when it feels like there is no way forward or upward on that sheer rock face, nowhere to put our feet, He is reminding us to use those tools to make the footholds we need to keep moving and not stay stuck, to keep reaching up rather than looking down. Going back is not an easy option. It’s dangerous too.
The very area in our life that seems impossible to scale can be the very area God wants to use to give us a foot up if we use His ‘climbing tools’ to dig deep into the rock face.
He is our safety harness. No matter how precarious it all feels He has promised “He will not let your foot slip“.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; (Psalm 121:1-3 NIV)
“Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing… Remains
Your love never fails, never gives up
Never runs out on me.” (Jesus Culture)